i sometimes wonder, what's God's plan for me. am i suppose to have it bittersweet? or should i embrace the good and bad things all at the same time? *shrugs* all that he has done now is to only sent those fucktards to test my limits. i know he wants me to learn something. but sometimes, i'm just dense. nothing goes in. so lessons have to repeat itself over and over again. *wince* Yes Lord, i know. you're teaching me not to rush into things and cherish Love. i'm learning. i really am. but you need not have to sent those really KUKU men to teach me. it's not very flattering to my ego. but nah. i'm not the sort who clings and mope around. so men, dont give yehself too much credit. i wont let you know you've gotten to me. muahahha. after 4, or is it 5, failed relationships, one after another (who's counting. geez) i've learnt the value of not trusting too much. i've learn to treasure myself. and not cheapening myself by loving *you* just because *you* are loving me. i guess as time goes by, i'll find myself more able to handle each of you men much better than the previous. not that i'm yearning for heartbreaks now. it's just that i'm starting to get used to it. but as i've always said - there's only so much heartbreak a girl can bear, i wonder how many more times can mine take. yup. signing off. *smooch*

*note : rach, qing, qy, may and jane. my birthday is comminggg. muahahahaha. you need a long time to prepare. so start now. mauhahhaa. melly, you kuku mama. *hugs to all*

it's really funny how things go so haywired when you prayed hard for it not to happen. did my fashion walk in the afternoon. bloooooody nerve-wrecking. i tried looking at everyone but i just couldnt bring myself to look at them since at that point i thought everyone must be looking better than me. yes, even the blue aunties that clean the toilet. my makeup, i felt was too much and my outfit seemed so flimsy. i kept worrying that i would trip over my dress and fall. but it seemed like the thing i should be worrying about was my lingerie. bbwwaahh! i didnt realise that the skirt was so transparent that everyone could see my garfield panties! bbwaaahhhh! trust me to make a blunder like that. i still have shows for tmr and sat to do. just hope that things go well. pray for me that i wont trip over my skirt. yahdahyahdah.

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